A few nights ago my daughter asked me if God was arrogant. In church that day, they were sharing with the kids that God had created us to worship Him. To her, that sounded arrogant and self-serving. I honestly didn't know what to say at first. I'm still contemplating my response. I explained that God really created us for relationship - to love and be loved - and that made sense to her. The question of worship though, still lingers in my thoughts. From a human perspective, someone . . . some being creating people to worship them does sound quite arrogant and haughty. We think of all the evil tyrants that have ruled on this earth over the centuries. They wanted to be served, catered to, bowed down to. They were self-serving and mostly horrible. I struggled with this very question for years. God, are you arrogant? Do you only want me to love and serve you because you demand it from me? All the evidence around me in my younger years pointed to that. The religious upbringing that I had - religion devoid of love and relationship - it seemed to shout at me that I had to follow Him, please Him, serve Him . . . or else. I was always afraid of the dreaded shoe about to fall if I slipped up or worse yet rebelled outright against His wishes. I dared not question or doubt Him. Blind faith and trust was all that was allowed. That worked (kind of) when I was a child, but the older I got the bigger the question got and it was left unanswered by the many teachers, pastors, fellow church goers and eventually college professors that I crossed paths with. Then it didn't work - at all. I couldn't stand it anymore. I said - I don't want to serve an arrogant, uncaring, dictator. In my heart I walked away. I stopped following the rules. I stopped catering to this religious monster who seemed to want me to live in constant fear of His wrath and disapproval. I waited for the shoe to fall, for my life to fall apart, for His wrath to destroy me. Nothing happened though. But then . . . gently and slowly . . . like a warm ocean breeze . . . He began to show me who He really is. Forgiving, compassionate, merciful, kind almost to a fault, faithful, beautiful, perfect and loving. As I grew into adulthood and experienced heartache and struggles, He was with me and comforted me. He drew close to me as I asked to know Him more. He matured me and replaced my doubts and fears with trust and confidence. He compelled me to worship Him. Worship - "the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity." Once I knew Him - really knew Him - I couldn't help but have a reverent awe of Him and adore Him. God is worthy of my worship. My heart was created to adore Him. I often run from the feeling because it is so deep, so intimate. It crosses the boundaries that my heart has set to protect itself from hurt. So is God arrogant? No, absolutely not! Why? Simply because He is too good, too humble to be arrogant. He desires for me to love and adore Him because He loves and cares for me so intensely. He does not force me to worship Him, He simply is so wonderful that I can't help but worship Him. He knew that when He created me. He knew that I need to worship something or someone and that everything else would fail me in this life. Religion failed me. People failed me. Success failed me. I failed me. Heartache after heartache. Disappointment after disappointment. Nothing . . . No one . . . was good enough. But He was. He created me and when He did He promised to be everything that I would ever need. He promised to never leave me, never fail me, never give up on me. Why wouldn't I worship Him? I truly can't help myself! As I sat in the car driving home from dropping my daughter off at school this morning, a song came on the radio and my heart rose in worship . . . again. Listen and see if your heart does as well.
0 Comments
As I read in the beginning of Genesis, I noticed that all God created was good. Of course it was good! God created it. It was absolutely gorgeous. It was completely beautiful. It was perfectly perfect. Sigh. As I look around me, I see so much in this world that is not good. Of course the explanation for that is in Genesis 3. The Fall. Sin entered the world and all that was good became corrupted. That is the creation I was born into - the corrupted one. That is why I have experienced heartache and pain. That is the reason I have caused heartache and pain. Nothing is perfectly perfect anymore. There is beauty, but nothing that even compares to the beauty at creation. I'm afraid that when God looks at His creation now He sighs too and desires for things to be as they were . . . in the beginning. In the Beginning God created . . . and it was good, but then it wasn't anymore. He set the world into motion in perfection, but then something went horribly wrong. Satan deceived Adam and Eve and tempted them to mistrust God's love and wisdom. They did the only thing that God told them not to do (and it was for their own good) because they thought He was holding out on them. They brought sin into a perfect world. Imagine! Living in this perfect and being surrounded by all of the beautiful creation that He created for them and still they thought He was keeping something from them. I could say I don't understand, but sadly enough I understand far too well. I often mistrust God's love and care for me. It's the original temptation. Thousands of years later - it still works on me - - and from what I see on most everybody else too. Sigh. But thankfully (ecstatically) there is something else in Genesis 3. You see, God had a plan for dealing with all of this sin . . . this corruption. He had a plan because He loves us so much. He said to the serpent "He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel." God planned a death blow to the enemy. His son Jesus Christ - the Messiah, the Savior - would deliver it! He didn't give up on us. He didn't leave us to clean up our own mess. He could have. We certainly deserved it. Instead He sent His only beloved Son to this earth. This earth?!? This corrupted and sin-filled earth?!? I still can't fathom it. But more than that - He sent Him to DIE. Die?!? For what?!? For the people who rejected Him (that includes me and you) - the ones who caused all this pain and corruption in the first place? Any doubts that God loves me should be dispelled immediately when I think of this. How could I doubt his love for me? He sent His son to die and then rise from the dead for me - to rescue me from this corrupted sin-filled world. To defeat sin and death. Of course He loves me. Of course He loves you too! All we have to do to receive His love is to believe in Jesus and receive His free gift of salvation. Oh, that age old trick of the enemy - he whispers in our thoughts "Has God really said? Is God holding out on me? Does He really love me?" If Adam and Eve or all of the billions of people who have lived since hadn't given into that temptation, I'm afraid that I would have. I would have single-handedly ruined it for everyone. Guaranteed. So even though I did not commit the original sin - I have no doubt that I would have. I have done it over and over again in my lifetime. I have doubted His love and His goodness. I have done exactly the things that He told me not to do. I gave into temptation. I mistrusted His heart towards me. God knows though. He knows that I would have done it and He loves me anyway. He knows what I have done - and He still loves me. He has given me a big, beautiful and true story (the Bible) to read over and over again so that He can reassure me of His love. Whenever I wonder if I have done one-too-many things wrong - He lets me know that there is nothing that can separate me from His love. When I feel like a failure and am tempted to live in guilt - He assures me that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ (that's me!.) At times when I begin to feel afraid of Him and see Him as a harsh task-master and someone to be feared, He reminds me that He is Love and there is no fear in Love. In the Beginning God created . . . and it was good. It will all be good again . . . forever-good . . . one day. I can't wait for that day. I can only imagine what it will be like - everything right. Always good. All things new. Everything perfectly perfect and God will look and see that it is good - like it was . . . In the Beginning. Sigh. "Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared. And the sea was also gone. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them." He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” And he also said, “It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega—the Beginning and the End. To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of life. All who are victorious will inherit all these blessings, and I will be their God, and they will be my children." Revelation 21 We each have a unique and personal story. Our lives - our birth, our childhood, our family, our joys, our memories, our heartbreaks, our sorrows. It's unique to us. No one else lived your story, no one else lived my story. Often when you go to see a counselor or a psychologist or even just talking with a wise friend, they will ask us about our story in order to help us with something we are struggling with. They want to take us further back in our story to find out why we struggle with certain things or certain people. We often go back to our childhood and the beginning of our own personal story. It helps us make sense of things somehow. Well recently God led me to go back to the beginning of all of our stories. The beginning of time. The beginning of everything and everyone. It's all written down in a book. The greatest story every written. The Bible. So I started reading "In the beginning God created . . . " I wanted to read more, but these words seemed to hold my attention with their depth of meaning. In the beginning God created . . . everything. There was absolutely nothing and no one in this world. There was no world at all. No atmosphere, no water, no land, no light, no darkness, no night, no day, no animals, no birds, no fish, no trees, no flowers, no grass, no men, no women, no children. Nothing. Absolutely nothing . . . until "In the beginning God created . . . " Wow. I can't imagine nothing. I was born into something. Surrounded by a million somethings since the day I took my first breath. I have no reference point to nothing. It is unfathomable. God created everything that I know from . . . nothing. So I was taken back to the very, very beginning of my story of your story - of all of our stories and I realized something. Someone - God - wanted me here. He wanted this whole world to be here. He created it all because He wanted it. He wanted me. He wanted you. He wanted each one of us. Amazing. I don't know about you, but that changes a lot about how I look at my life. How I feel about myself and this world as a whole. God wanted to make this world. He wanted to make me. In the beginning God created . . . and when He did He already knew that the result would be me . . . and you . . . and every single person on the face of the earth. I am no longer a problem or a burden to Him in that light. I am a special creation made by someone who wants me - sees the beauty and value in me. I no longer have to prove anything to Him or to myself. As His creation I am already valued and loved and seen as His precious daughter. There are many, many verses in scripture that prove His love for me. It's everywhere in His story. You can hardly read the Bible without being reassured of His love for us. I know it's there. I was just surprised to find it in these first few words of The Story. "In the beginning God created . . . " We went away for a few days. We visited friends and the place we called home for 6+ years. I won't lie. It was hard. I hate going back to the place that was home and staying in a hotel room. I hate that it's not 'mine' anymore - that now I'm more of a tourist than a local. I hate that my house is now an office for a holistic practice and all of what used to be my home is now used only commercially. I hate that I can only stay for a few days and then I have to leave. It's very hard on my heart. I am still feeling sad and my heart divided. I love my home here. I really do, I just miss my other home so, so much when I visit. I miss the dear friends we have there - the couple who more or less adopted us as their own kids and our children as their grandchildren. I hate that we can only have a brief meal with them during our visit and that now that they are older and having medical issues I can't be there to help them the way they helped us as young parents not having a clue what to do with our new little ones. I can still see her holding my youngest as an infant, hating to leave her go when we were moving back to Pennsylvania. So many beautiful memories. So much beauty in the Adirondacks that I had to leave behind - a slower pace of life, more space, more time to breath & relax & just be. There is a true love in my heart for that place, that special time in my life. I can't go back though. Time moves on and so must I. God has blessed my life in so many different places, in so many unique ways and for that I am grateful. He was faithful to me then and continues to be faithful to me now. That chapter in my life was a hand-designed gift from my loving Heavenly Father who knows me so well and desires to fill my life with good, beautiful things. I am so glad that no matter where I am - He is there and will always be faithful to me. He is preparing a beautiful forever home for me to go to one day and deep in my heart, I know that this is the true home that I long for. It's not Pennsylvania or the Adirondacks - but a place where my heart can be at rest and quieted by His love forever. "In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. "If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also." John 14 As a mother, there is this constant sense of never being quite sure about many things. I know over all that I am a good person, a good mom - but all the little decisions, schedules, rules that make up mothering . . . . Well those things I am often not sure of. Am I being too strict, too selfish? Am I being to lenient, too easy? Should I be more scheduled? Should I give my children more responsibilities? The list goes on & on. I'm pretty sure I raised myself for the most part. Oh, I had clothes on my back, shoes on my feet, a roof over my head and food to eat. I had all the physical things provided for me and I am very thankful for that. I just didn't have a lot of guidance in my life. I kind of was left to myself most of the time and since I was a good kid, I generally made good choices. I just struggle with guiding my children, because no one guided me. I kind of feel lost in a lot of ways in my mothering. I used to feel very guilty and overwhelmed because I knew I wasn't doing things the way I should. I had a constant sense of failure as a mom. I still struggle with it sometimes, but I have learned to give myself grace and to let God help me fill in the missing holes in my mothering. I have strengths and weaknesses as a woman, as a mom. All women do. All moms do. I can't be perfect at everything. Neither can you. Sometimes I need to remind myself again of that. To remember that I am doing a good job, even though I am not perfect. To stop over-analyzing myself or my decisions and just ask God to show me things to do differently in areas where I am weak and to show me too the things that I naturally do well. After all, He is the only reason I am here and He entrusted these children to me to mother. He wouldn't leave me alone to do this job. He is always with me. I am so thankful for this privilege of being a mom. I know that even when I am never quite sure about something that this just shows just how much I care about getting it right - of doing this job well. Even if I don't make the perfect decision, it won't be because I didn't give it my best shot or because I didn't care enough. So as I lay my head on my pillow tonight, I will give my mothering and the decisions that go along with it to God . . . again. I will trust Him to guide my steps and give me the strength and wisdom to do this job well and the grace and forgiveness for when I'm not quite sure if I'm doing it right. In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. Romans 12:6 We went on an overnight trip to Lancaster a few weeks ago. It was nice (for the most part - as my oldest daughter commented.) Of course we all had our moments of unloveliness as we spent much time in the car and one bedroom and every other waking minute. The hotel we stayed at had a continental breakfast. On Saturday morning when we got up, we all went down the hallway to the breakfast room and helped ourselves to an assortment of breakfast foods - bagels, yogurt, donuts, cereal and oatmeal. As I sat there, another family came in, got their food and sat at the table across from us. The family consisted of a Mom and Dad (I'd say about my age - 40's), a tweenage son and a teenage daughter (I'd guess about 17) and a little boy around 2. I didn't really pay much attention to them. The mom was scolding the tweenager about something and I guess that's why they caught my attention. Weirdly enough, for some reason, I feel very relieved when I hear or see other parents have struggles with their kids. It helps me to know that I'm not alone in this. I glanced over at their table and noticed something that seemed a bit strange to me. The teenage girl was feeding the little boy. Nice . . . I thought, but kind of strange. The mom didn't feed him at all. Oh well, maybe the girl was just one of those doting big sisters, since she was so much older than him. When he started swinging his arms at the teenage girl though, the mom firmly grabbed his hands and said "You need to be nice. Be nice. No hitting. You want to be nice to Mommy." Wait. Mommy? The Mom wasn't his mom - the teenage girl was. Wow. That must be rough - for her, for her brother, for her parents. Wow. It just struck me as something really hard to go through. I also thought how wonderful it was that she chose to have this child and not abort him - as so many teenage girls would have done to make their lives less 'complicated.' I was so proud of her, of all of them, for choosing life! As I walked out of the breakfast room a few minutes later, I saw the older boy and his dad sitting on some chairs. I saw the boy looking at some flyers of local places to visit and I saw the dad with an open book, but it wasn't just any book, it was His Bible. I felt relieved. I know that as a father, this man is the foundation for his family. He was looking to God's Word to get him, his wife, his children and his grandson through this time. It can't be easy. It just can't be. I said a prayer for this family in my heart. A prayer for guidance, for hope and for wisdom to navigate this bumpy road that they are on. I prayed for God to come along side of each of them, as only He can do and just simply help them. Sometimes in life, we get pitched a curve-ball that completely surprises us. It is not fun and often very painful. We can't handle it by ourselves. We need divine help. We need God to come along side of us and give us strength and wisdom. We need His loving arms to wrap around us and comfort us, just like this family needs right now. I pray that you can know His perfect love and peace in the midst of the unexpected surprises in your life as well. It isn't easy and we need Him to get us through. We can't do this alone! I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me. Psalms 77:1 We think of many things when we hear the name God or Jesus. If you grew up like me with a 'God is strong' upbringing, you might think awesome, powerful, mighty and just. If you grew up with a more 'God is love' upbringing, you might think kind, tender, loving and merciful. All of these words are good words - they are found all over the place in scripture and it shows the vast and perfect diversity that is found in our wonderful God. In recent years, I have developed a different type of relationship with Him though. It has become more personal, more intimate. As I get to know Him more and more - the words seem to just not be quite enough to describe Him. There is one word though that really seems to capture His essence for me. That word is beauty. It is more than an outward quality, but a pervasive and all-encompassing quality. It says for me Who He Is. He is beauty. He is beautiful. I have a favorite song that I love to listen to. It is on my iPod 3 times in a row, just because I love to listen to it that much. I often go back and replay it another 3 times and just soak in the words and meaning of the song. This song speaks to the beauty of our wonderful God - in His Son, Jesus Christ. The song is "You're Beautiful." I wanted to share it with you so that you could take just a few minutes and listen to the song. It may not be your style or preference in music, but I believe that if you really listen, it can open up your heart to His beauty and love in a new way. He truly is beautiful inside and out. I was a chaperone on my daughter's field trip this past spring. It was loud and crazy, as you could imagine, with a whole busload of excited, restless fourth graders headed to Harrisburg. We went to see the Capital Building and then to see Flight of the Butterflies in an IMAX theatre. It was about Monarch butterflies and one man's quest to track their migration pattern and find their secret hideaway (where did they all go?) Turns out that all the butterflies ended up in Mexico - millions of them! The film was beautiful, with close-up 3D pictures of butterflies in flight. I loved it! It was my favorite part of the trip - it was quiet, the kids were all sitting still and I was able to sit back and relax and see something breathtaking and inspiring. At one point in the film, they had a screen full of butterflies in flight. I was sitting watching it when all of a sudden I heard clapping. It wasn't loud and constant, but just random clapping around the theater. I pulled down my 3D glasses and looked around to see the students reaching out with their hands and trying to catch the butterflies, which to them appeared right in front of their faces. I had to laugh. So sweet. So childlike. I've heard clapping before, but never in this way. It's always to encourage someone or to celebrate something that has happened. It just gave me pause to consider this version of clapping. I know sometimes we hear a beautiful piece of music or witness a beautiful dance routine or well-done movie - so we clap. Good job! That was great! Encore - do it again! It made me realize that when we clap, maybe we are actually trying to capture something. Maybe we are trying to capture that moment and hold on to it forever. Maybe we are trying to capture that feeling, that emotion of pure joy and wonder, and never let it go. Just like the children reaching out their hands to catch those beautiful butterflies, we sometimes want to catch something beautiful and hold on to it too. It is so wonderful that God allows us moments in our life that give us a glimpse of His wonder and glory. I believe all true beauty is from God - whether music, dancing, nature or people. When we enjoy it, we are enjoying Him. It makes sense that we would want to capture beauty, capture God and hold on to Him forever. It amazes me that we can. He allows us to. He wants us to. He offers us a constant, every second of the day relationship with Him. All we have to do, is reach out and catch it! Jesus replied, “I am the bread of life.
Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. John 6 Sometimes motherhood is hard. I know – you’re thinking – “Duh, Einstein! Tell me something I don’t know!” That’s OK. I can take it. Well, maybe not – I’m pretty sensitive to other’s opinions. It might make me cry . . . Regardless, I need to be reminded of this from time to time. At least the fact that it is hard for someone else besides ME. For some reason I have this unreasonable thought down deep inside that tells me that motherhood is only hard for ME because I am basically a failure as a person and a mother. I have no idea what I am doing, but most other mothers have this whole thing under control. So, if you are like me - a little naïve and down on yourself for not getting this motherhood thing right- then I am writing it for you. I am writing it for the both of us. To remind us that most moms struggle with motherhood – with getting it right. Have you ever watched Oprah when they had their “Best Mom of the Year” show? I think I watched it once. I don’t think I could bear to watch it again. It made me feel less-than, not good enough and quite frankly jealous. Jealous of the saintly mother that was recognized as this near-perfect queen of motherhood. Something that I fear I fall so short of. Well, back to the scream that hurt. I have had a rough summer in the motherhood department. My kids are all at new phases in life and I still haven’t caught up. I have 2 tweens and a teenager. I’m still in the 'raising young children' phase. I haven't quite caught up. I’m not sure how to mother tweens and teens – they have opinions, many of which are negative & many of which are focused on me. Ouch. One of my children is particularly hard to handle. They are challenging me at every turn. They are telling me all the things that I have done wrong in their rather short, but evidently very hard life. They are refusing to do things – every day simple things. It doesn't make sense. It is like they are purposely trying to make me feel bad. To make it worse they are constantly apologizing. Yes, after they ‘tear me down to size’ and have me tied in knots for a few hours, they have the nerve to apologize and expect me to forgive them and forget it ever happened. The first few times I did. After that, it’s been hard though. After all, I can’t forget it ever happened because then they would have no consequences and I would be enabling them to do it again & again & again . . . So I am constantly having to forgive, but still give appropriate consequences for their actions. Not any easy balance for me. Anyway, it’s been several months of this behavior and the other two haven’t exactly been on vacation in the ‘make Mom’s life hard’ department. Let’s just say it’s been very wearing on me. It’s been challenging and overwhelming at times. At the same time I am learning a lesson. Full Dependence on God. Sounds easy, right? Hah!!! Not even close. I am not a dependent person (at least I never have been.) Life has taught me in many ways to be independent. To take charge, figure things out and fix them. To not need anything or anyone else but ME. So this Full Dependence on God thing is . . . very new, very scary, very hard. However, motherhood will teach you like nothing else that there is no such thing as full control. Life cannot be controlled. Children cannot be controlled. Sadly, I can barely control myself some days. My child - this difficult, opinionated, dramatic and stubborn child is my teacher. They are breaking all my misconceptions of being in control. They are a constant reminder that I am completely and utterly dependent on God. I should be grateful, right? Duh, Einstein! You must be crazy. I want them to stop - NOW! So this past weekend I lost-it, I broke down, I screamed a blood-curdling, heart-wrenching scream. They were refusing, again, to do something basic that the whole family was doing together. They just didn't want to. I wanted them to – it was a nice family function that we were all looking forward too. They didn't want to. I wanted them to . . . I walked away from them – to the top of the basement stairs. I started to cry at first, more of a helpless whimper really. After weeks of this stubborn willfulness, this refusal to comply and do as they were told, I cracked, I broke down, I lost-it. I didn't want to yell at them, threaten them, manipulate them. I just wanted them to be easy for once, to do what they should do, rather than what they felt like doing – but – they didn't. So whatever I was feeling was all bottled up and shaken over and over and over again until it all just burst out in one crazy scream. All my frustration, all my hurt, all of my craziness and the anger of my inability to control this child. It burst out in this one scream. It hurt. Literally. It felt like someone used one of those heart-shocker machines on me. I wasn't expecting it. It was scary and physically painful. It came from way deep down somewhere and ripped out through my chest. In fact it still hurts – it’s sore and a constant reminder of my cry for help. That is what it was after all. A deep heart-wrenching cry to God for help. I had no words, just a scream. I've heard screams like that only a few times in TV shows or a movie where someone is dealing with something extremely hard. Something that can’t be expressed in words. Something that you have cried about over and over again. Something that you have tried and hoped to fix many times, but can’t. Something that is out of your control. There were probably years of hurt, anger and frustration in that one scream. It was not all about this one child. It was about losses of relationship I have suffered over a lifetime. It was about feeling alone and unwanted by parents, friends, church families. It was about all the mistakes that I’ve made as a woman, wife and mother that make me feel so guilty. It was about all of that & more. This one stubborn, willful child was just the ‘icing on the cake’ - the ‘straw that broke the camel’s back.’ I’m glad. Yes, I’m glad. Glad that I let go of my emotions and control for just long enough to get that painful scream out. Glad that even though it hurts, I am reminded by the left-over tenderness that I can’t hold all of that pain inside for so long. Glad that I left go of my need to control life. Glad that it brought me that much closer to Full Dependence on God. I’ve said it before beautiful moms and I will say it again - - We can’t do this alone. We need each other. We need God most of all. It doesn’t feel good (at first) to give up control of our lives. It feels scary. It feels like maybe we are copping-out, being lazy to just sit back and ask God for help when we could be researching our child’s issues on the internet or running ourselves to the counselor or psychologist’s office. Those things give us a sense of competency, of control. We are doing something. We are trying. We feel good about that. When we give up control though, we are not being lazy – we are simply handing our problems, our issues or our child’s issues over to the only One who can truly help. He made them after all. He made us. He knows exactly what needs to be done and when. If they do need outside help – He will direct our steps to just the right person or resource at just the right time. He is not slow (except to get angry.) He is not in need of our counsel (just ask Job.) He is the Great Physician, the Wonderful Counselor, the Prince of Peace. I’m not going out on a limb here to say that we can trust Him with anything. It’s just a matter of letting go. Letting Him have complete control. Choosing to be fully dependent on Him. I don’t know where you are in this journey of Complete Dependence. You may not have even seen the road signs for it yet. You may have seen them, but are not sure if that is the road you want to take. You may have just turned on to that road and are looking at the bends and the bumps along the way and need to be assured that it is a good road – one that at it’s end is life and joy and peace. Maybe you're up ahead of me and can help me navigate the way. I don’t know. Wherever you are though, take it from someone who is choosing to stay on the road - it is a good thing. Not easy sometimes, but so good. You can trust God. He loves you. He won’t let you down. So come and join me, we can navigate the bends and bumps along the way together! But in my distress I cried out to the Lord;
yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears. Psalms 18:6 Sometimes as women, as wives, as moms, we feel lonely. We feel like we are doing this alone. No one sees us. No one notices us. No one cares. I've been there. Honestly, I will probably be there again. When life hits us hard. When we don't expect 'that' to happen again. When we are lying down, face in our pillow, crying hard but quietly so we don't upset the children. We feel it. We are scared. We are tired. We feel alone. It feels desperate. It feels sad. It feels scary. It feels real. But it isn't. It isn't real. We are never alone - no matter how real that feeling may seem. It's just a lie. It's not true. Our feelings are playing a trick on us. God is always with us. We may not see Him. We may not hear Him. We may not feel Him - but He is there. I know He is. He is there for me. He is there for you. He is there. I know He is. I was challenged recently to change the title of my blog and Facebook page. I wanted to reach out to moms who feel alone. Who need to know that other moms feel alone too. Who need to be encouraged in knowing they are not alone in feeling lonely. So I called my blog and my Facebook page One Lonely Mom to Another. It made sense. I thought. The truth is though that I am not alone. You are not alone. Why? Because God loves us intensely, intimately - whether we feel it or not. That is the real truth. That is what I want moms who feel lonely and alone to know. They are beautiful. They are loved. No matter how they feel. That is the truth. They are never alone. You are never alone. I am never alone. So I changed the name to One Beautiful Mom to Another. When we feel lonely, we need to know that . . . first. We need to know that God is with us when we feel lonely. We need to know that we are beautiful and loved and pursued by the One who created us. So as you go through today - through this week - through this life, you will feel lonely. You will feel alone, but you are not. There is a part of God's Word that talks about how He is always with us (actually many places in His Word He remind us of this.) I wanted to share that with you today in case you are feeling lonely and alone. I want you to know that He is with you. I want you to know that you are not alone. He is with you . . . no matter where you go. He knows everything about you . . . even the things no one else knows. He is walking ahead of you and guiding you, but at the same time is following and protecting you. He made every detail of who you are . . . to the tiniest detail. He knows everything you have ever done and everything you will ever do. He thinks about you all the time. He is with you right now. He was with you every step of your life. He will be with you every moment for the rest of your life. You are never alone. O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night-- but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you. You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! Psalm 139 |
Details
SueWoman, wife, mom, friend, sister and so much more. Archives
February 2015
Categories |